For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. - Ephesians 6:12

There are times when people do you wrong. You didn’t have to do anything, but they are there attacking and trying to tear you down. This happened to me recently, and at first I was hurt, but then it didn’t stop and I became pissed off and extremely hateful of this person when no one could see. Or I thought no one could see. By anyone’s standards what this person did and said was inexcusable and I had a right to be angry.

God saw my heart and my attitude. Tonight, God showed me where I was wrong, as He so often does. I can sit in the corner and pout or yell about the wrongs done to me, or I can choose to do what is right and what God expects from me. I didn’t want to at first, but God told me I had to forgive them. I started to pray, next thing I know, a short prayer turned into me pouring my heart out and praying about things I didn’t realize I needed to be said.

Sometimes I just don’t understand why things happen the way they do, and I sometimes let things bother me and rip me apart, but God showed me something again tonight that He unfortunately has had to show me over and over again. How can I be an example for Christ when I am playing right into Satan’s hand? That is what Satan wants, to tear me down and keep me full of anger, instead of keeping my focus on God.I maybe a little bruised and bloody from the incident, but I can’t let that keep me from being a light for Christ. Being angry and hateful is not going to show Christ in me, and I would be a sorry excuse for a believer if I let what they did to me consume me.

I also realized something else, people do things without even understanding why they are doing what they are doing. This person isn’t a believer and what they did hit below the belt, and I don’t think they even fully realized what they was doing. Darkness hates the light for reasons it doesn’t understand. This incident was definitely a spiritual attack. I don’t want to go into what it was about, but there was something going on in my personal life and they couldn’t have known about it without a Satanic influence. When they brought it up, they claimed to have a vision about it, and then proceeded to go after me full force. There is no doubt this was an all out spiritual attack. Which is also the reason I cannot remain angry and hurt by what happened. The past few days, I have felt so burned out and consumed by it. I felt almost like throwing my hands up and giving up, but that is when God showed me what I needed to do to keep going. I needed to let it go, forgive them, and put my focus back on Christ.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” - Hebrews 13:5-6

God, sometimes I just don’t understand why You put up with me. I am a mess. I am stubborn. I usually want to do everything on my own. And yet, somehow You love me anyway. And You sent Your Son to die for my sins. I don’t understand, I can’t comprehend the never ending love You have for me, but thank You. I wouldn’t have made it this far without You, thank You for never failing me and for never giving up on me.