Here is my top ten warning signs that your manager has a real/make-believe issue with an employee and how to get rid of them.  This list is composed of what I have seen happen to others around me over and over.  These are the top ten that seem to be the most successful.  In no particular order…

1)  The manager will make up some subject of why management needs to meet with you, such as discussing future goals, future opportunities, or some other reason that sounds like it is in your best interest.  We will call this x.  He/she all the sudden wants to meet with you right before you leave for the day.  The conversation usually starts with “So, what time are you leaving today because I want to discuss x with you?”  Run!  (see 2 for reason)

2)  If they want to meet with you before you leave on a Friday, brace yourself!  Managers do this so that you immediately leave and go home angry.  They don’t want to have to deal with your justifiable anger, they also don’t want others to know what they did to you.  They know that sometimes one evening will not be enough cool off time, hence Friday before you leave - that way you will have all weekend to get over any murderous rage you may have for your scum of a boss.

3)  If the manager is a she, you will suddenly hear her all the sudden start to say “Hiiiiiii!” to you in a high pitched voice like she is happy to see you.  Don’t walk, run!  This is a trick that many women use to make you think that they are OK/happy with you, but in reality, they are stabbing you in the back.  This is a typical female thing and is not used in management alone and should always be feared.

4)  Sudden change in response behavior.  This is a tricky one to track down, but here are some examples.  If you have instant messaging in your office - is your manager the type that always answers you right away?  Does he now suddenly go “away” or doesn’t respond for a few minutes (enough time for some manipulative response that will hopefully give you warm fuzzies, but not be of any use to you whatsoever).  Same thing can also happen with email and vmail.  Be careful not to be too paranoid, since they may legitimately not be able to respond right away.

5)  If you hear your manager all of the sudden start mentioning how much overtime (hours over 40) he puts in a week, and then brings up how many hours you work (i.e. 40).  You are obviously not committed.

6)  If you manager starts to ask when you got in or when you will leave - watch out, you are about to be accused of cheating on your time card, or you are a “clock watcher” which means very bad things.  The term “clock watcher”, in reality, should not be feared.  It should be a good thing.  It means you know when you get in and when you leave - which allows you to be accurate on your time card, which is what they tell you your first day.  However, when a manager uses the term “clock watcher” they are implying that you are lazy and don’t put the extra effort into the team, no matter how hard you work during the hours you are there.  This will ALWAYS come back to haunt you on your yearly assessment, i.e. tiny raise.  Or my personal favorite, they want grounds to fire you.

7)  You aren’t being a “team player”.  If your manager accuses you of this, it means he wants you out.   As long as you aren’t making your team miserable, and especially if you get your work done, than the only reason to be told you aren’t a team player is to make a case against you.

8)  Gossip is an excellent weapon for a manager to use against an employee.  Always listen for the buzz words that a manager will repeat over and over.  See, the key is to get people believing what you say.  For example, the key word maybe “incompetent.”  The manager will call someone incompetent any chance they get, the word incompetent is always used and repeated over and over.  Usually the reason why the employee is incompetent will be missing, but they get extra credit for using a word with more than four letters over and over to describe the employee.  Within weeks, most of the team that does not work with the employee everyday will believe the lies being spread.

9)  Like 8, this is similar.   The concept of what I would call a scapegoat.  Often you will find a manager has some major issue.  Maybe it is false time charging, or spending too much time talking to others.  These managers know what they are doing is wrong, but instead of changing the behavior, they seek to justify what they are doing.  In order to do this, you will find that managers will wait for another employee to do the same thing, but to a minor extent, like leaving 5 minutes early one day, or one day talk longer than usual to another employee.  All of the sudden, they are the time card falsifier or the employee that spend too much time socializing.  This is dangerous for multiple reasons.  Not only does it allow a manager to get away with breaking the rules, but also they will destroy another employee’s reputation in the process.  With this one, managers get to do twice the damage!  Another thing to mention is that managers use this as insurance.  If an employee complains about the manager’s irresponsibility, the manager will have already established a complaint against that employee, which will dismiss the accusation against the manager.  Watch out for these managers and run!

10)  No such thing as a straight up answer.  These managers should be feared by everyone, subordinates and higher managers alike. When a manager cannot give a straight up answer, it means things are bad.  So bad, the consequences of the actual answer being given would cause much consternation.    Eventually this will come back to haunt someone - and that person will most likely not be the manager.  This is the situation to be most feared.  Nothing says dangerous like working for a manager who manages like a used car salesman sells cars.  Time to spruce up the resume and find another job.